Is your baby’s willfulness driving you crazy?
Under certain conditions, a child’s willful behavior is the result of parents’ excessive tolerance towards their children. It is often the result of parental tolerance and indulgence.
And love cannot relax and educate, meet the requirements of children to eat, wear, and play without restraint. Without a certain routine and code of behavior, children are hotbeds of willfulness.
Because of their poor self-control, emotional fluctuations, and impulsivity, their thinking is one-sided and rigid.
Some parents use harsh methods such as reprimand and scolding to suppress the child’s legitimate needs and opinions or treat the child’s shortcomings, causing the child to have rebellious psychology, using persuasion to resist crude, venting dissatisfaction, and further promoting the child’s willful behavior.
The children are not obedient, the parents’ requirements and wishes are difficult to realize, and some parents feel helpless, so they let their children go freely, which leads to the formation of willfulness over time.
First, when dealing with the willfulness of children, it is important to fully understand the development law of children’s independence. In the growth process of children, 3-4 years old is the first “resistance period” in life.
In this period, children are no longer obedient as before, they often “stand alone” with adults, and always try to target the constraints of adults.
Sometimes it seems to be “independent” with adults, always trying to target the constraints of adults.
Sometimes it seems illegal to oppose parents and teachers. If you ask him to do something, he will not do it. If you do not let him do it, he will do it.
This nature often persists until the age of 4-5, and children often show disobedience.
When adults ask for something, they often say “I don’t” or “don’t leave it to you”. If the adult asks for a conversion, the child will easily become very irritable.
This kind of independence tendency of children is often regarded by adults as disobedient. In fact, this is a child’s “resistance” psychology, an important sign of independent personality quality development, and a normal psychological development phenomenon.
At this time, if the child intervenes or scolds him or her for punishment, the child may temporarily become obedient but his self-esteem and self-confidence will be harmed, and the development of independence will stagnate.
The correct approach is: to guide students according to their situation, teach students according to their aptitude, and pay attention to the children’s resistance to psychological behaviors and requirements while satisfying and encouraging them; to guide children’s unreasonable requirements in an appropriate way and avoid using tough means.
In fact, it is not a bad thing for a child to be “disobedient”. Often, this kind of child has a wide range of interests, independent opinions, strong ability to adapt to the environment, and healthy mental development.
And a particularly obedient child who obeys the arrangement of adults has not met the requirements of the times, and is also a problematic child.
Second, treat children’s willful behaviors correctly and calmly. When children make unreasonable and excessive demands, parents should pay attention to adopting a positive education method to make clear to children: this is not right, why not, and what is rightTo help him improve his ability to distinguish right from wrong.
Children’s concept of right and wrong is gradually formed in the process of learning to deal with various specific things.
In this process, parents can use transfer, cold treatment, appropriate punishment and other methods to simplify the problem.
(1) Diversion of attention The child’s attention is easy to distract and easily attracted by fresh things. Be good at shifting the child’s attention from the things he insists on to other novel and interesting items or things.
After the children are transferred, they will soon remember the request and unpleasantness.
For example, in a toy mall, the child must buy a hundred dollars of Transformers, and there are already too many similar toys in the home. At this time, parents should not directly answer whether to buy or not, and can guide the child: “There are more fun things in frontLet’s hurry and see.
“Children generally believe that there are better things in the store so that parents can take their children to walk and watch and explain. Children can easily forget what they just said.
(2) In advance, after the parents have mastered the rules of their children’s willful behavior, use the method of the previous “Chapter Three of the Law” to prevent willful attacks.
For example, every time I take my child to the street, I always cry after passing through the small shop to buy ice cream. I should say to the child before I go to the street: “Today, I can take you out of the street without eating ice cream.
(3) Cold treatment When a child loses his temper or rolls because of unsatisfied requirements, the adult can temporarily ignore it and create an environment of helplessness for the child. Don’t expose distress, compassion, or accommodation, let alone bargain with him.
When left unattended, the child will feel bored and make concessions.
Afterwards, the parents simply and seriously explained the reason why the child could not do this, and changed him to say, “I believe you will be obedient in the future” to encourage him.
(4) Stimulate the use of children’s competitive spirit, stimulate their self-confidence to overcome willfulness.
For example, the child is used to not rubbing his mouth after eating, and also willfully: “I don’t like rubbing.
Parents can say, “Don’t you say you are like Snow White?”
I think Snow White is cleaner than you.
“(5) Proper punishment of young children is not enough simply by positive education. Proper punishment is also a very effective means of education.
If the child will not eat breakfast willfully, parents should neither scold nor threaten, but just put away all the food after the meal.
When the child is hungry, tell him that being hungry is the result of not eating in the morning. After the child tastes hungry, he will eat on time.
In general, the wayward behavior of the child reappears, and it is not necessary to be too nervous. The important thing is to guide.
Education must not be seized from time to time, teaching is sometimes relaxed, and the attitude of education is determined by the emotions of adults.
Don’t appease your child’s willful behavior, counteract the behavior, and unreasonably ask for one time and never relax.The requirements that parents make for their children should give them confidence that they can be achieved and be easily accepted by their children.
This clear concept of right and wrong has led children to gradually feel the adult’s educational attitude.
The children’s bad mentality and willful behavior of “I am exclusive”, “I am the master” and “obey me” will disappear through the influence of good environment and education.